So today is coming out day, and I thought I would talk about it, I was… I never came out the way I wanted to, I never got the chance to go to my mom and tell her about me, I… the way I came out, or the way I was outed, was when my sister walked in on me, kissing a boy. I told my sister if she could not tell my mom, that I would tell her myself, and she agreed. Well, I come back from school, guess what. my mom is calling me to her room, and that we need to talk. and at that moment I knew, I knew what it was about. I was like… shit, I was so mad, I was so mad at my sister for betraying me. I wouldn’t call it betraying , but I was just mad that I didn’t come out the way i wanted to. That conversation went by my mom questioning me. Are you sure your gay, maybe it’s just a phase, is the other boys parents okay with it, you could get in a lot of trouble. all I just told my mom, that it’s just this, I’m not gonna change. She eventually came around to understand, little by little she learned more about it, and now we’re at a stage where we can casually talk about men and stuff. She accepts me for me, and she loves me and I love her. But every time I think about it, it’s really hurtful because I never got the chance to go to my mom, and tell her “mom, i’m gay.” and honestly I don’t know if I wanted to come out to my mom in general, I was outed sophomore year of highschool and I had no plans on telling anybody. My close friends already knew without me having to tell them, but to other people, I guess I don’t come off as gay? I guess I’m not gay enough? But I don’t have to be a certain level of gay to be happy with who I am.
My mom told me that I didn’t have to tell me dad or anyone else, she kept my secret and I’m really happy that i have that support from her. I was really surprise by the support of my moms side of the family. For a week, my mom and I went to Ensenada, Mexico for an annual family event, and after when we were on our way back to the U.S., my mom told me about my uncles conversation. Apparently my uncle and mom had a conversation about me. My uncle had told my mom, that she should let me be free and happy, and to be who I want to be. This of course was about me being gay. I started crying, I couldn’t even fathom that my uncle would support me, and even tell my mom to her face that she should let me be out and gay. But of course my mom already knew about me and told my uncle to fuck off, that she was already doing that. Later on, I found out that one of my favorite cousins came out as lesbian. She had been married to a man, and even had 2 kids, then she got divorced and is now happily with her now girlfriend. I feel that everyone should have a chance, on their own terms, to come out. There are people who still aren’t out of the closet and that is okay, they have the right to wait.
This year I had the great experience of going to San Francisco Pride with some of my amazing friends, and it was just so much fun. Seeing all the different people from the LGBT+ Community, all together just living their lives and having fun. I called my mom who was now about 400 miles away from me, and she was just so happy hearing about how much fun I was having and she was just so glad that I got this opportunity.
So to the ones who haven’t come out, take your time, there’s no need to rush, and just know there is a loving community patiently waiting for you to say you know who you are.